Climate Mathematics for CAT 2010

Not you are wrong it is climate Mathematics not Quantitative aptitude that one must master to tackle CAT 2010.The reason :CAT 2009 which was conducted online had quant questions so easy that students were rubbing their eye and pinching themselves to believe that it is actually the CAT exam.The surprise was another unusual thing in the Online CAT Menu after the students gone through heavy frisking,I.D.card checking,Biometric fingerprinting ,face recognition procedure, signature validation and pre-test briefing.Having gone through these procedures many students hoped that online CAT 2009 should form a case study.Not for Management Programme but for CISF and CRPF personnels for ensuring security at airports and government installations.Anyways the surprising quant questions surely brought a small smile in the faces of the CAT 2009 aspirants (small because one cant be bigger when s/he has not eaten for last 3-4 hrs and standing all the time in queues going through the procedures).The smile was short live as when students tried to check their option the system broke down either due to power failure or virus (it was a computer virus not a mutant H1NI virus).
But while the fortunate CAT aspirants were happy solving easy Quant mathematics ,our environment minister Jai "ram" "Ram" esh * (no i am not shouting BJP's slogan) was explaining his calculations about indian sy\tand on Emission reduction.The unknown variable "x" in his explanation was a mutating factor either carbon intensity or emission intensity or energy intensity.The BJP parliamentarians were advised by the BJP bosses to take help of those CAT aspirants who were waiting for resheduling of their test to understand the ministers figures (in return the MPs have to cry CAT !CAT ! in parliament for a second or two,interestingly Amar singh thought that Katrina Kaif is coming at the well ).Anyways CAT aspirants too were unable to unpuzzle Jairam Ramesh's equations and gave up and said they will instead help the BJP MPs to solve Verbal section of the Liberhan Commissions report.On which Sushma Ji replied no need of it as another 17 years will be wasted and chances are that parliament questions will be asked online by then.
The tough climate change mathematics is expected to form part of CAT 2010 syllabus as parametric being a American firm will surely ask tough questions so that less people appear for CAT and less time computers will be ON and generate less CO2.Thus earn more carbon credits.Another tough calculation indeed.
Anyways if one still wants to prepare for CAT 2010 please closely watch and read climate change tutorial in Copenhagen.Some extra material for permutations and combinations topic will appear in few days when Jharkhand election results will be announced.For Probability topic commonwealth games 2010 is an example where amid others calculation of negative probabilities due of incompleteness of works, PM and sports ministers calculation are still around 1 .

Welcome to the world of mathematics !

Probability,Maxima-minima,Peak intensity,threshold limit,percentage reduction,absolute quantity,relative value,Average,business ( as usual) etc etc are not the terms and terminology only limited to mathematics and engineering but actually the innocent field of environment is plagued by these terms.So that a simple fact that nature has given birth to man and on it depends the survival of the man,is being forgotten or at least being escaped from.If not Climate change, at least environmental pollution and degradation (which is causing climate change) is quite obvious to even a layman.But still the talks of climate change among nations of the world reflects as some diplomatic world war being fought with every country having its weapon as a book shelf full of statistics and terms and a proposal which is nothing but a innovative complex mathematical formula about how to go for emission reduction.
At least developed countries are doing the said exercise as due to good universities and thanks to brain drain ,the expert mathematicians are available to only these nations.The developing countries are too following the wagon but due to limited expertise in mathematics they could not wrap their simple urge for survival with development ,in some complex mathematical formulation.They are also caught in a trap were one one side they are majorly effected by the climate change and on other hand the they have to think about necessities of their poor people.So now instead of coming to an agreement over the steps to be taken to secure our common future on this planet, the nations have made climate change discussions have become more a matter of f showing its mathematical prowess.Now instread of the pictures of plalts and animals which were prominently featured on books and magazines on environment,now lessons on probability,linear programming ,statistics are going to occupy most spaces.Instead of planting trees and recycling the waste now it will be suggested that we should manipulate our figures,or show them under some other head in the logbooks.Green mathematics or statistics,environmental calculus or conservation accounting are going to become promising fields under for study as well as jobs under category "green jobs".
I have no feelings of contempt towards mathematics or staticstics but issues related to life and death must be free from narrow confines of manipulative minds.
(Photo courtesy:chrismadden.co.uk)

But Doctor it's a girl ?

An act of kindness never goes unrewarded.It is always a great feeling to help some one and bring change in life of someone who is helpless and in difficulty.But our constraints of life and resources give us a perfect alibi for not doing any small act of kindness however important difference it could have made in the life of a person.We always placate our questioning superego that we will help others only when we will be able to and we are waiting for that grand moment.Thus most of our life is spent waiting and striving for that magic moment.Our hope to do good hence remains a hope forever.I am too not an exception,a desire for making a positive difference in the society , in the life of people around me especially those who are needy and helpless.I still wait for that proud moment when i will be in position to fulfill that desire.But i found some people who are not so calculative .instead of waiting for that magic moment they collect what ever their limited powers and resources,howsoever small it may be,to live to the moment and help others.They are quite simple people and still important.My mother told me about the doctor in our neighborhood.Young and newly married this lady doctor and her husband were among few of the early house owners of the colony which we reside today.She established her practices as a Gynecologist here and founded clinic cum hospital in the same house at first and second floor. Private practicing doctors are often seen with an eye of contempt in India.People have a general view that they are money mongers and so charge excessively higher.Being a gynecologist the doctor was visited by mostly people in and around the area populated by a good number of poor people especially Punjabi truck drivers and cleaners.One day a couple arrived at her clinic.The lady was pregnant soon she delivered a baby in hands of the doctor,but it was a girl.After few hour it was found that the couple vanished leaving the girl baby behind.The reason was obvious a girl child is more a liability for a poor Indian family.The Doctor tried to find the couple but at last she adapted the baby although she herself gave birth to two boys afterward.The girl was cared,educated and was able to secure a good job at a reputed bank.
Thus without waiting for some divine sign for doing goods person can still do his small share newer thinking about its rewards.The reason for writing about the incident is that tonight the girl is going to marry to a good boy.The invitation card of the marriage reads her as daughter of the doctor and her husband.A happy ending for a story that had a tragic start.
Some thoughts will always be coming to my mind Do the couple ever thinks or remembers the cute little child they left uncared and alone at the hospital bed and ......
Also how many times we ourselves have stopped ourselves behaving as a human.

What is the name of your school?

School, I believe leaves a special memory in the minds of all of us that how old we ever become still we remember something about our schools.It may be our favorite teachers or the dreaded ones,unforgettable friends or unruly bullies, the old classroom or the new cricket cap,what not,everyone at least remembers something about his school that he could remember whenever he regresses to his childhood memory.The name of our school that our parents taught us to say before the guests,then it becomes part of our own identity.God knows how many times we tell to others that we belong to blah blah school,how many forms we have written its name in forms,resume and else.But often we thought about the name of the school which we take into our identity.Putting it simple the name of school has a persons name in it ,many schools are established inh memorial or honor of special persons,but often we never exert our effort to try to know who is/was this person whose name has become part of our identity.

Burgess English Higher Secondary School Bilaspur is the result of years of persistent efforts of the principal, staff and members of the school governing body and most importantly the Diocese of Jabalpur,Churches of North India (C.N.I.).

History:
Burgess English Medium School was established by the efforts of the managing committee the Rt. Rev. F. C. Jonathan, Mrs. K. F. Jonathan, Dr. Mrs. F. Choudhary and Bishop G. B. Singh in the year 1967.
Ms. Z. Rahim the Principal of Burgess Memorial Girls Hr. Sec. School and Ms. Bharos as the Manager started the school with just seven children, in a portico and then in the dinning hall. In a very short time KG I and KG II classes were started. Within a span of 3-4 years the Primary and Middle classes came into existence.
After the retirement of Ms. Bharos Mrs. S. Scott took over as Head Mistress.
Gradually the number of students increased and the school took the shape of a full fledged Hr. Sec. school with Science and Arts faculty.
Burgess Memorial English Medium has a close relation to the Burgess Memorial Girls Higher sec. School,which in fact can be said as its precursor and both schools share same campus.Burgess Memorial Hr. Sec school was f India has long been the destination for missionaries the Stone Camp Movement and their missionaries from the Unite States, Canada, Great Britain and Australians deserve a special mention in this regard.

Burgess Memorial Girls Higher Sec.School

MISSIONS OF THE C. W. B. M.
1. Girls' Orphanage, Deoghur, India. 2. Torrington Chapel, Jamaica. 3. Girls' Orphanage, Bayamon, Porto Rico. 4. Mission House, King's Gate, Jamaica. 5. Mission House, Bilaspur, India. 6. Oberlin Chapel Jamaica.

History:
The first stone Campbell Movement missionaries sent to India where four single women: Ada Boyd, Mary Kingbury, Mary Grabiel and Laura Kinsey. They were sent by the Christian Womens Board of Mission (CWBM), America in the year 1883. The first three of the above mentioned made Bilaspur their first station and started Girls Orphanage. Thus on 6th November 1885 Chanta Girls School was founded with sixteen students and one Rajput Teacher. This proved to be the precursor to the present day institution- Burgess Memorial Girl’s School.

Though the early work was slow it was deliberate and the fruit of their labours became evident with the growing successes. By the year 1898 there were nearly 300 students. During this time Miss Bertha Lohr (1892-93) gave her valuable resources to the school.

In 1920 a big amount was collected in the memory of Mrs. O A Burgess (CWBM President 1890 – 1902) and was given to the Chanta Girls School. Thus began a new era in the history of the school and subsequently the school came to be known as the Burgess Memorial Girl’s School, Bilaspur.

A plot was purchased and many buildings were made at the cost of nearly one Lac of Rupees. Miss Ada Boyd, the first missionary also donated a large amount. With such financial help the fully equipped school building was inaugurated in 1926, by his Excellency Sir M. Butler.

During this course, Miss Mattie W. Burgess (1893 – 1909) gave her services and leadership to the school. The school has a synthesis of missions and had a distinct privilege of activity of both America Mission and the Canadian Mission activity. An example of the valuable service rendered by the Canadians is Miss Emma Jane Ennis (1909 – 1914). She served as a missionary – teacher for more that three decades in the school and eventually reached the position of Director. She was awarded several medals by the British monarchy for her service in India. Her love, concern & compassion for the people of India can be seen clearly when she wrote “If the people of Canada and the U.S.A knew the Indian People as I know them, there is nothing they would not do for them, and it would not be a sacrifice.”

MISSIONARIES OF THE CHRISTIAN WOMEN'S BOARD OF MISSIONS.
1. Annie Lackey, Deoghur, India. 2. Miss Zonetta Vance, Bina, India. 3. Miss Adelaide Gail Frost, Mahoba, India. 4. Miss Mary Graybiel, Mahoba, India. 5. Mr. and Mrs. E. C. Davis, Ohio Mission, India. 6. Miss Mary Kingsbury, Bilaspur, India. 7. Cora Evans Alderman, Monterey, Mex. 8. A. G. Alderman, Monterey, Mex., deceased. 9. Ella M. Maddock, Deoghur, India. 10. Bessie Farrer Madsen, Pendre Road, India. 11. W. J. Menzies, Rath, India. 12. Miss Mattie Burgess, Deoghur, India. 13. Miss Florence Mills, Bilaspur, India. 14. Norah Collins, Bayamon, Porto Rico. 15. Hattie Menzies, Rath, India.

Later, Dr. Miss Vida C. Elliot (1941- 1951), a missionary of the United Christian Missionary Society, took over from Miss Ennis in 1941 an gave her valuable service to the school Mrs. Mary Pollard, another missionary of the UCMS, America, in her brief snits and Mrs. Miriam Terry (1958 – 59) also gave their prime efforts, and under them the school scaled further new heights.
Thus It was missionary efforts accompanied with empathy and affection that the city of Bilaspur which was one of remotest area in Central India was able to receive two great institutions of character and career building.It is thus pertinent to know about Mrs A.O. Burgess ,whose service and devotion to The Jesus and His people,impelled others to drive their efforts for the betterment of the people in her kind memory.

MRS. O. A. BURGESS.

MRS. O. A. BURGESS.

CHRISTIAN WOMAN'S BOARD OF MISSIONS.
1. Mrs. O. A. Burgess, President 1890 to 1902. 2. Nancy E. Atkinson, Pres. 3. Anna B. Grey, Rec. Sec. 4. Mary J. Judson, Treas. 5. Helen E. Moses, Cor. Sec. 6. Mattie E. Pounds, Superintendent Young People's Department. 7. Effie Cunningham, Vice-President.

Nannie Ledgerwood was born in Washburn, Ill., July the twelfth, 1836. As a child she was slight and delicate in body, retiring and modest in disposition, absolutely truthful in her nature and possessed of a resolute will.
The home into which Nannie Ledgerwood was born was thoroughly Christian. Her father and mother were whole-hearted in their devotion to Christ. The maternal grandfather, Henry Palmer, was one of the pioneer preachers of the Churches of Christ, and a man of great originality and forcefulness. His teaching brought Otis A. Burgess, Henry Minier and many others into the church. When sixteen years old she left her home in Washburn to attend Eureka College. Her health did not permit her to finish the course of study but the influence of her stay there was felt throughout her life. On October the seventeenth, 1854, when she was eighteen years old, she became the wife of Otis Asa Burgess. She never strove to be a second and a smaller copy of her illustrious husband, but with womanly devotion, in her own realm of thought and action, she ordered her life to fit into his; guarding his honor, strengthening his highest resolutions, tempering his impetuosity and supplying the touch of gentleness and grace needed in his bold, strong nature.
After her husband's death she returned to the old home at Forrest, Ill., where Mr. Burgess' body had been laid to rest, that she might there make a home for her father and mother. She remained until after her mother's death. At this time the National President and [444] Secretary of the Christian Woman's Board of Missions, Mrs. Maria Jameson and Mrs. Sarah Shortridge, wrote her urging her to come to Indianapolis in order that she might be of more service to the work of this organization. After careful deliberation, she decided to make a new home in Indianapolis, Ind., where she had formerly lived when her husband had been successively minister of the Central church, President of Northwestern Christian University and Butler College.
When the Christian Woman's Board of Missions was organized, in 1874, Mrs. Burgess was elected to serve as National Treasurer, which position she filled until 1878. While she was a resident, of Illinois she served as a state officer. In 1887 she was chosen vice-President and in 1890 she was made President of the organization. In this position she remained until God released her.
As an executive she was strong, wise, prudent and forceful. Her counsel was safe, her judgment almost unerring and her faith strong. She knew the work intimately, loved it tenderly yet wisely, and served it with an absolutely unselfish devotion. Her public ministrations were but an incident in her services to the organization. Twelve months in each year she thought of, planned for and faithfully served the work. She had breadth of vision, knowledge of men and women, and above all, faith in God. These she brought unreservedly to the service of the Christian Woman's Board of Missions and by these she blessed its enterprises. Every field in which the organization labored was thoroughly familiar to her. She knew the missionaries personally and prayed for them by name. She longed for the enlargement of the work and was never satisfied with any attainment made.
In January, 1897, her father died. She nursed him through a long sickness with a never-wearying devotion that, unconsciously to herself, consumed her strength. After the strain was lifted the reaction came. That dreaded disease, the grip, found in her a victim, and so exhausted her vitality that she never really recovered from this first attack. Each succeeding winter, despite the greatest care, this disease found and struck her, until, worn and exhausted, she was no longer able to rally her forces to withstand the inroads of pain and weakness.
She attended the National Convention, at Minneapolis, in October, 1901.
She was not strong enough to attend many of the meetings of the convention, but she met many whose presence had made glad for her the days of yore.
Returning to her home, the reaction did not come at once but a grave change for the worse came the middle of November. Until a few weeks before her home-going her splendid courage never faltered. She hoped and planned to be well.
At midnight, Monday, May the twelfth, 1902, the spirit of Mrs. O. A. Burgess freed itself from the pain-weakened body and went to be forever with the Lord

-HELEN E. MOSES

If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.

-Mother Teresa

Refrences:
1.John T. Brown, ed.Churches of Christ (1904)
2.CHRISTIAN WOMAN'S BOARD OF MISSIONS BY NANCY E. ATKINSON.
3.Diocese of Jabalpur ,Churches of North India ( C.N.I.) website

All the world's a stage......

(continued.)Theater today has great artiste,writers,technicians and so on.But what it is lacking i mean what i feel theater is missing the relevance for a common person.Specialization of theater i feel has moved it away from the common folks and their lives.Unlike the actors earlier who were also living the life they are playing in the naacha ,actors today are college graduated,learned ,imitative and artificial.The script and the dialogue don't look as coming from the intense struggle inside the mind and hearts of the people but a well thought and structured storyline.Habib Tanvir Saab i feel was one the few actors who understood this thing .His actors were mostly uneducated and village folks like Govindram Nirmalkar,but capable to portray the feelings.Though he was well learned in hindustani as well as urdu still he liked to stage his dramas, based on rural Chhattisgarh themes, in chhattisagarhi language.To admire him ,once actor Nandita Das asked him could she join his theater group?He told her that first she need to learn to speak in chhattisgarhi.

Still organisations like IPTA and its Chhattisgarh chapter,Spic-Macay and others are doing their best to promote and keeping alive the theatre in chhattisgarh.

All the world's a stage................

The word drama comes from the Greek word to do or to act.Natya or rang , in hindi ,a microcosm of the real world created on a stage.Drama is on of our ancient art ,who doesn't knows Kalidas,the one waho has made his place among that galaxy of stars where each name represents a soul of an epoch.Drama is such a intricate and complex subject that whatever knowledge i possess it will be like a drop in ocean to comment on it.Instead i will dwell upon a little observation that i found to write something on drama though not a comment or a critique but still something important.
Like every other place in India ,in chhattisgarh Drama too has a long but living history.Famously known as NAACHA, Naacha in which predominantly act was played with dialogue in rhythmic form accompanied by tabla or dhol or harmonium.It was a part of rural social life rather than just being a thing of entertainment .But yes entertainment was important in Naacha as to attract a tired farmer or a labor out of his misery ,would not had been possible if the naach or drama could not entertain him that is uplift him out of his misery and take to a relatively happier world though for a few hours only.As my grandfather told me Naccha or Ramlila had been an important activity just more than entertaining.He told ,that Naacha was played by mostly laborers, servants , keepers and others who had so much anger against the conditions imposed on them by the contemporary feudal system.They needed a way to vent off their anger as well as show the talent they have which otherwise was not appreciated in the society.Even the Maalguzaars and Zamindars knew and understood the sarcastical dialogues in the drama.But they endured it consciously so as to thwart the greater evil, a revolt by the peasants.Theme often touched the exploitative system of Zamindari and caste but ostentatiously it looked something different.Darama was enlightened by the social issues like dowry ,approachability etc which were so critical issue that they can only be discussed in jovial environmnet of a naacha otherwise these issues had ability to strike a major riot or something like that.
Drama too was thus enriched by the feeling that the actors had in their hearts which often brought a realism in their act.My mother often tell that in Chandeni Gonda ,act showed the torments a mother-in-law undergoes in hands of her newly married daughter- in-law ,the audience would sometimes get so emotional and agitated that they would utter abuse against the actress playing the role of the daughter and often throw shoes on her across the stage.
The important thing was that people who in morning were peasants and laborers turned into a different being at evening in the Naacha.
The theater has progressed much since from then .Dedicated teams and people today glitter the field.The scope of stories has too enlarged and diversified.(continued...)

A thousand words....

Lost in the Kitchen !!!!!!!

What you do when you are alone at home?
No, i am not talking about interesting things but the nasty things like preparing food for yourself.
Boys hardly pay visit to kitchen unless there is some extreme emergency.Same is case with me.Although visiting kitchen and getting acquainted with it are two entirely different things.Former is watching a pretty girl and latter understanding what she actually wants.Although a crude analogy but one can understand the tragedy.I too had to undergo the trauma of knowing the kitchen,it was like you are left alone in a jungle.The only difference is here you are thinking "what to prey upon?" than in jungle where you are stressed by "who is going to prey upon you?".
Another crude analogy indeed!
When i got rendezvous with our kitchen i felt amazed by most ubiquitous thing in any kitchen "the modular racks".I am gonna kill the person who invented this modular kitchen thing.He must be a puzzle freak,as most of the time i spent in the kitchen, was spent opening the drawers,racks searching,closing hen again next one.This whole exercise sucked most of my physical as well as mental energy.


Nevertheless i persisted then the next surprise was "the almirah".Some people have hobby of collecting things like postal stamps,coins etc etc,but my mom has hobby of collecting pickles,as i understood by seeing her collection.Mango, Amla,Lemon,and what not she has got every pickles that has been invented

After recovering from pickles,i caught "spice flu".Name any spice and herb my mother's kitchen has got it ,i think so.In fact I thought i have lost my ability to smell after struggling among the spices.


The next thing waiting to bedazzle me was the boxes with what not,sugar,salt,every specie of pulses existing on this earth,wheat,all varieties of rice ever grown in the plains of Chhattisgarh,sauces,chutneys,dried vegetables etc etc.


If this was not enough her collection of crockery,steel wares,frying panes,plates of every diameter,and every utensil you can think off.
The microwave , the Electromagnetic heater,Mixer grinder(although she has also a ancient style grinder made of stone),Food processor,Refrigerator,Gas stove etc made me think that i have landed on some NASA Lab.

My Lil sister too had played her part in making my mind go awry.Her own store with all fast food preparatory materials added to already troubled waters.
Anyways i conquered upon all the difficulties and emerged from that jungle(read kitchen)victorious with some boiled eggs and bread.I know that very less but that all i could manage with the remaining mental energy.

Contrasting Neighbors

Neighbors are always interesting. Incase of India this “interesting” thing has many different connotations. On one side is Pakistan which is grappling with different cultural and tribal groups is finds it difficult to bring them into a unified nation or rather federation .The Baloch,Pahtuns,Wazirs,and others are able to assert successfully themselves n the weak federal administration. The country whose raison de tre for formation is the distinct cultural and religious distinction of Muslims, cant deny the different groups right to maintain their separate identity. The effect is visible crystal clear.

On other side is China, where the communist revolution was based on dispensing every form of religious and social hierarchy too has gone too far .Chinese administration has left no stone unturned to in Tibet to end the institution called The Dalai Lama. Thousands of Tibetans along with His Holiness Dalai Lama fled the land of their ancestors when the cultural revolution knocked the doors of Patola Palace.




India had to bear the burnt of the extreme ideology of both its Neighbors .The Muslims in India are as Indians as any Hindu or Christian or Sikh is, but still they are called Pakistanis and told to go to Pakistan by some frantic and so called Hindu Nationalists of India. The Tibetians to who are exiled in India at Dharamshala for years are longing for the time when China will accept them and Their Dalai Lama.Tibetians have been living since last fw decades have provided a different hew to already colorful culture and tradition of India.Isn’t it that every winter we wait before buying new sweaters arrival of Tibetans sellers to our cities. So they have became more like a part of India itself. But still they want to return to their homeland. A section of people in India, ideologically loyal to communism, hates their presence in the country, similar to their hindu brethren.

Tibetans are as pure at their hearts as the air flowing in Tibet. The strive to save their culture, tradition and religion has made them to suffer as well as sacrifice a lot. The honest people, who know nothing what diplomacy means ? ,are caught in the worst of diplomatic tangle. Dalai Lama has lead longest peaceful agitation in world to demand for the tibetians their rightful place but has till now got nothing. While diplomats in China are waiting for the demise of Dalai Lama, so that they may throw next series of moves, Tibetans in India are losing their hopes for return. India is unable to do something for their sake, given the rise of China and its own precarious position in diplomatic world.
A long wait and hope,has been kept in the fortune of all.

Some one has rightly said "never deprive someone of HOPE ,it might be all they are having"
(except the first all photos above were taken by me through mobile cam on my visit to Dharamashala)

Is Google Making Us Stupid? - The Atlantic (July/August 2008)

Is Google Making Us Stupid? - The Atlantic (July/August 2008)

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Enjoy arrival of mansoon with pakodas !!

queer or normal ?

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MJ : My Columbus

No no i am not a ardent follower of the religion called "pop" and the God "MJ".In fact much a time i am not able to decipher what he used to sing although i liked his songs "black or white" "beat it" "they do not care for us" ,"the girl is mine ".Many for their lyrics and most for their beats and dance.For last few ears his name infamously been involved in paedophile case ,i,in fact began o hate him more.After all childhood innocence is a larger concern than the entertainment that keeps us amused.But his sudden death has made to headlines of newspapers and TV channels ,and condolences and remembrances came in flowing from all sides in huge amounts.This shows that although people had lost interest in him for last few years but not forgotten him.His music ,style and songs which had captivated a whole generation for decades has not lost grip over minds and hears of its followers.
For me MJ was not like a God as his pop loving follower assign him the position,but actually he my first introduction to the West or better the America.Those days Internet was not came to Bsp and cable television had just started to spread in the city.I think i was in fifth or sixth standard ,and i was visiting my neighbour's house,that the cover of MJ's album "Dangerous" (in picture alongside)struck my attention.I asked my neighbour (who was older than me and the cassette belonged to her elder brother who was studying at an Engg. College at Nagpur) about what type of music this is.She gave me a surprising look and said you don't know Michael Jackson? I said innocently "no".She exclaimed how come everybody knows about him .He is pop star and break dancer.I kept listening hypnotised,as though everything she said was something like divine knowledge.Then as owner of a proud possession she played the cassette and started moving rhythmically showing that it is a nice song and acting as she understands ever word of it (she was educated in hindi medium since start).I too liked the beats and sudden ups and downs of music with intervening "aouu" sound(characteristically MJ).She continued proudly that this is an original cassette "very costly and not available at Bsp",Her brother has brought it from nagpur so he never lets anyone touch it .I think she guessed that i may ask for borrowing .This was first time i heard western music.Then in school i learned that one of my classmate is an excellent break dancer and was going to perform on MJs song.I watched his dance a annual function ,he was really excellent ,and that last step in which he touches the stage with his legs spread away made the audience cheer amazingly(plz dont ask what it felt when the girls cheered).
It was MJ who penetrated to small town like ours through his break dance and pop songs.He was also one who lead to formation of image of an american as "White ,long haired(ofcourse uncombed),wearing goggles ,always moving(as though born in train)" among we people.
Often this is portrayed in our Indian movies as comedy, remember Jonny Lever in "Judai".
MJ for our generation was like what pizza,burger and shopping malls for today's generation ,a symbol of America.For me he was the Columbus through whom i discovered America ,his music "soul music" a gift to East from west ,his style a trend setter and his death like cutting of the umbilical cord when child is able to breath by himself.I would be difficult to believe he is dead as he himself said " i am unbreakable " .

growing up so fast.....

It was the occasion of wedding of one of my good friends that I suddenly realised how fast we have grown up.I knew him since my school days(to be precise since my primary schooling). We had attended school then same college.It was unbelievably amazing to think how so many days passed , say ,in a blink of eyes.

I could still recall the days at school ,at playground(as i was often invited as 12th man in most of cricket matches) and at coaching classes(i used to envy him as he used to sit near girls and often talked to them ....uf.. ). Then in college where he consistently played his good boy image and i as always the bad boy.While he as he was a good cricketer,used to concentrate on single ball (read girl),i often as 12th man do,stumbled on catching many balls (read girls) but caught none.Although his much sought ball also slipped from his hands but i think he mastered the art after graduating .Result he is a married man now.

While he was sitting on the stage with his better half ,a constant thought kept me intriguing is he the same guy?Has he matured this enough?Isn't this a child marriage? After all i felt it was just a matter of yesterday when we were enlightening our selves about girls and their idiosyncrasies at college canteen.And learning about complex binomial (boy -girl) differential equations by watching education Cd's (details cannot be explained on public forums).

The bottom line is that i never believed that the process of growing up could be so fast.That days of carelessness,gossips,flirt etc, will give way to the days of taking critical decisions having consequences over two lives.

Fast and Unpredictable.That's what life is...........

powerful words

The Maggots (from The Descendants)

At sunset, on the river ban, Krishna
Loved her for the last time and left...

That night in her husband's arms, Radha felt
So dead that he asked, What is wrong,
Do you mind my kisses, love? And she said,
No, not at all, but thought, What is
It to the corpse if the maggots nip?

By Late Kamala Das

just to show off !!!!

Muchhe ho to nathu lal ji jaisi warna na ho! People do what not just to show off.The need of social recognition sometimes becomes so rich that people put at stake everything just to gain social recognition.We lead our life trying to gain recognition from other man whom we even don't know.How far one can go in this matter.Suicide..no..afterall what purpose will it serve.But not all concur with the negative answer.For some people,in fact those with low self esteem,the recognition and attention they failed to achieve in their life they would get after their suicide.People who will find their bodies after suicide will talk about them ,more people will talk about them.Even press will tell their stories.Instant recognition they would get after their suicide.So there are many not fake the Gaonwallon....! scene of Sholey but actually go real and far.Few Failed love stories end in suicide because lovers think their parents and relatives who didn't noticed their intense love will be noticed after they are dead.Academic failure hurt and leads to suicide often because children think they failed to earn the pride and recognition for their parents ,who otherwise had shown their ward's brilliant results to their neighbors.In fact now their parents will have to suffer the negative recognition from others as parents of failed children.Committing suicide on one hand save him/her (the child) from the scolds of their parents and on other hands their absence will make their parents recognise that their children are more than academic records.
Wives commit suicide because their husband try to ignore them or have found (recognised) some one else as more interesting. Husband commit suicide because to be kept recognized before their wife and children eye as they(husbands) are not able to fulfill the family's wants and needs.
Leaders commit suicide because they feel now their followers will not respect them any more i.e.they would loose recognition in the eyes of their followers.
So much to get recognised in the eyes of others.Its better to be reclusive then.

A million splendid sons and daughters

When one visits country's hinterland s/he is filled with a moral concern for education and upliftment of these half naked children who follow their cars and keep staring to us.Many of these children are in their school uniform and when asked they tell that after mid day meal ,school was closed as teachers were absent.Often the school itself is non existent as funds finished in preparing papers for them. so a tree shed serve as a place for students to assemble.Officials have never reached there although they strated in their airconditioned cars from district centres.

ympahasizing with them ,we urban socialites (who mostly are no one in the city) deliver a lot of harangue against the government and officials who ,even after 60 years of independence,haven't provided these children schools and colleges.We offer lots of drops from our benevolent knowledge about what should the government do and do not to educate these children.After our return we are again engaged in our lives thinking about our salary packages,foreign assignments and in metro lives.We satisfy our conscience by assuring it that a certain cess on our income tax is being spent on them and mid day meal is being served (with garnish of lizards and insects).
Often when we see our house maid ,driver ,sweeper a thought comes if they had been educated then to who would have taken care of these lower chores.Their illiteracy is blessing for us.Thanks to the lethargic officials ,absentee teachers and paper existent school buildings.
Why these children do not study? why their parents don't ask questions to government,public Representatives.Why absentee teachers are not made absent from this world.Why lethargic officials are fed the mid day meal (of course with usual garnishings),why paper existent school buildings are not burnt with those whose signatures are on them?And lastly why people like us ,who shed corocodile tears and talk of high moralities ,are not made compulsorily to spend a part of their life doing those menial chores that we dislike?

Life and the Chaos Theory

Often things happen that make us to belief that the Chaos thoery has some gravity.Aren't some events look as they are result of alng chain of events which started as a small trivial thing.Some little mistakes ,some small misunderstanding,a little mistrust,a small error and so on leads to those events that sometimes change our life at all.We loose trust,friends,relations anything just because a trivial thing happened and we didnt noticed it.Decisions which are very important in your life are result of some small expreience that we had but which had a great impact on us.We run on the treadmill of our life seeking new goals and pleasure and trying to frget a lot many of insignificant events so as not to lose our focus.But at some point of the time when we retrospect we are reminded that those insignificant moments of our life wer actually very significant.What we are living today had not been if those events had not taken place.Thus suddenly our present looks as The chaos created by the past.
The next moment we start hinking about how we couldnt be able to notice such a small thing.And then,in next moment we start thinking about what we could have done to change the things.
Thus the present chaos in our life looks as lsome logical conclusion of a string of events,looking as if a divine logic has driven all this .

serendipity and oeuvres

Arts,sciences,music ..how they originated.Why some some people see and feel something distinct and drawing in things which look quite obvious to others. They end up devoting their life for learning it,pracising,even understanding it.They end up becoming maestros,artists ,scientists and similar beings.Incredible many even end their life for its sake earning no recognition at all.

Looking unobvious among obvious things ,i believe ,what is called creativity.But is creativity inborn or experience and learning makes people creative.Whether one who sees nudes in the tree becomes an painter or a painter sees nudes in the trees.(the scetch alongside is by me).A difficult to answer.It is known as the nature -nurture

debate in Psychology.

I dont know whether it happens to other but it often happens to me.I find the debut book by an upcoming writer good and tastefull but when the books he writes afterwards has something missing that i feel makes them less or fully untasteful.Is the originality or creativity in the writing style fades when one gains experience or its just opposite ,practise makes man perfect.

Why inventors or creators are mostly apples of public eyes rather than those who make those things workable.Putting it another way why scientists who develop theories and spent their life finding relations dont catch people eyes than those who creat things like dishwashers,lifts etc using those theories.

It is possible be that we get used to them so feel bored,but then there are some ,whom we never leave reading, watching listening.Beethoven,picasso,leonardo de vinci,Clint Eastwood,Agatha Christie,Jefery Archer,Paulo Coelho,Khaleed Hosseni to name a few internationally and Satyajeet Ray,Lata,R.K.Narayan,Raja Ravi Verma to name some nationally(Personal choice).

So whether serendipity/creativity is the thing that provides taste to something or long experience and knowledge is what that makes oeuvres enjoyable.Being selfish i took only the perspective of the connoisseurs (i am not even that too) not the artists themselves.Artists also may have there own view.

History or His-Story

Citizen of a nation are like Mountaineers,they seek a peg or a support which is stable.This peg/support is necessary for a mountaineer because he doesnt knows whether the place he is going to put his next step is stable or not.A stable peg/support assures him a safe point where he can return in case the place is unstable.
Same is the case with the citizens ,it is quite difficult for citizens to move forward without a definite history behind them.This history is like a psychological peg/support to which they can return in case the future might not be condusive.
History of a nation serves more than that,it is not only the collection of facts and artifacts.People look towards their history of seek their identity ,to find purpose of the collective group,to understand what they are today and why and similar other questions.History is like an old grandmother to whom her grand children keep asking what,why,how ,when.....then...what happened then....
As an Indian i too tried to know what is our history.But the more i searched, the more i got confused.History books tell we are the descendents of the Aryans who came some where from Central Asia,but not all agree to this .Hindu Nationalists rubbish this argument are instead propese we are original inhabitants of this country.According to them this whole "Aryan invasion theory" is created to press the european dominance.
There is also various versions of our own freedom struggle. While Winston Churchill didnt considered Indian freedom struggle as really a struggle,a warfreak Churchill believed that in a bloody war can only be called a struggle.While Indian Historians have tried to explain how our struggle for independence was result of a strategy and deliberate struggle.Congress,Gandhi and others have been credited for uniting the people as a nation and inspiring them to seek freedom from the British.But the British Historian like Vincent A. Smith write that India was given freedom because The Britsh themselves believed in the ideals of freedom and self governance.British had a strategy and a time table,the congress only helped to prepone the timing.They blame the hasteness of Congress for a divided nation and the violent situation at the time of independence.While indian historian describe at length the atrocities,exploitation and agressions of various Viceroys and Governor Generals,British Historian write paean of benevolence, administratively acumen and long sightedness these gentlemen .Both sides support their argument with ample data and facts.
Not only that Indian Historians and their Pakistan counter parts too have their own version of Independence struggle.The Two Nation Theory ,the Role of Muslim League ,Partition are some areas where they differ totally and tell heir citizen their respective version.The history of Kashmir has led to two wars and still an undeclared war is going on.
It can be reasoned that every side whether indian ,british or pakistanis has molded HISTORY such that it shows themselves as true and ethical before their citizens.But what actually happened ,i think, we will never be going to know.
It seems atleast that the Indian can count upon the version told by our historians as a right version,for sake of psychological stability and national feeling ,but matter is still remains confusing.Indian historians have tried to provide a version which answers many quesions and has remained for a long time.But Indian historians belonging to communist camp like Irfan Habib have described Congress and Gandhi as spporter of Rightists,capitalists and elites.They have their own set of facts to show how indian elites' interests were secured by the Congress.They allege that Congress has used its sway over power after independence to indoctrinate people with its own version of history and obscure other facets.Another group of historians called Subaltern Group as interpreted history from iew point of subalterns(lower strata of society),they too differ from mainstream Historians.RSS and Hindu Nationalists have their own story to tell.As a citizen to whom one must belief especially when every side is euipped with its strong argument and data to support .Even if one is doctrinated to one version it is difficult in this information technology age to keep his ears closed for other versions . More informaion often contradictory is present making things more confusing.

An old wisdom says that "forget what happened just move forward in life".But while moving forward may be easy it is not quite easy to forget ones past .The past haunts ,it comes before you in a new cloak and poses the same quetion which you always tried to avoid.

What fascinated Habib Tanveer ..?

As a student of psychology , I read a number of theories about what motivates people? How we make choices? , How we decide? and so on.Psychologist have devoted a hell lot of their mind to propose plausible solutions.But still some people and their life form exception to all these theories.The path they chose and the life they led ,appears to me ,couldn’t be explained by any of these theories.One of them is famous dramatist Habib Tanveer,who left this world yesterday.
To mourn for his death , people from various sections of society offered their condolences,gratitudes ,affection and homage and many recounted their experiences with him, but here I was blaming him for his sudden departure.Can’t he wait for a couple of years or more as its too early for him to take leave from this world.
Born as हबीब अहमद खान on 1 september 1923 at Raipur.His nom de plume Tanveer became associated with his name and he became हबीब तनवीर.No it was not a drama when i first saw him,but a film Prahaar .It was a intense film.Although i was more impressed by the acting of protagonist of the film played by Nana and Madhuri as the wife of deceased army officer but i certainly noticed Habib who played role of disgusted, disgruntled and reticent father of the deceased army officer.Habib’s serious facial expression with an air of pride ,holding a pipe in his hand, delivering a few but impressive dialogues. His dominate eyes behind heavy glasses ,his calculated moves though looking as natural as they could, all these were signs pointing out that this person is not quite like the other oldies of the bollywood, there is something especial about him.then i saw him in some other movies and serials but never gave him a serious thought.Finally at Bhopal in a news article about him i understood that he is talented theatre artist infact a highly acclaimed one.I lso found that he was from Raipur Chhatisgarh and wrote and performed many Chhattisgarhi Dramas.I was understood the finesse in his acting was result of the midnight oil burned at the theatre. Knowing this made me quite puzzled.How came the Chhatisgarh which i know produce such an acclaimed theatre artist.because even after so man years people here are still struggling to solve questions of livelihood and art dance ,drama, singing still considered jobs of low strata of society (if not in cities atleast in villages).The region has at best produced some shrewd politicians infamous nationally ,how a theatre talent be born here? How come Habib ,that too in 30s,40s ,think of writing and performing drama ?Quite a difficult question even for my generation who calculates every decision on the balance of salary packages.
My doubt was partially answered by my mom who says that though people, at that time 60s,70,came generally from lower strata of society and were put in low esteem, it was not the case always. Some persons from good families (landlords ,priests) could not keep themselves away from the attraction of these arts.Also the crowd and the applause these moving drama companies or naacha/gammat party attracted can’t be compared with todays as television was least affordable.She says village people ,herself too, used to flung to the part of village where the naacha part has arrived.She admits proudly that Dau Ramchandra ,a theatre director being of our own caste , whenever came to perform near our village ,the family was entrusted to provide residence and food to his party.She says these dramas were able to spell magic upon its spectators. A scene from chandeni gonda in which the errant bahu cases troubles to her innocent saas,used to ignite so much anger among the audiences that some would hurl their shoes on the actor playing the bahu.Plays were performed using minimal paraphernalia under petronet lights, but still attracted spectators from far villages.
Knowing this I can guess a little , though crudely, why Habib , a young boy decided to be part of something which had potential to touch heart of a number of people and spark a flare in their eyes. Though i cant say more about the actual reason,as Habib could tell more about it himself .It is reported that he as working on his autobiography "हबीब का सफरनामा" for some time , may be that could provide some greater insight.
Poor people their joys, misery, intrigues and live, always formed part of Habib’s dramas which showed that the youth was also inspire but the spirit.But interestingly Habib in his last decades came to conclusion that “Revolutions cant spark from theatre ,let theatre be theatre”.
Questions like this and many more will remain about Habib in my heart also remain unfulfilled a wish to watch him performing on stage his play चरणदास चोर,a wish I harbored for a long time.Last time I saw him in the Subhash Ghai’s movie Black and White,he looked as quite young and pleasant. His last plat was "Rajrakt" based on a Rabindranath Tagore's "Visarjan"
In words of Habib sahib
“ मैं चला मैं चला
कभी इधर कभी उधर
मेरे संग चला
जिंदगी का सफर ”
May he get ,in the other world, the elusive peace that this world couldn’t provide him.

A video might explain

Birth day gifts

The best thing about birthdays is that you might get surprise gifts.But in this virtual world even gifts are not real.
See what i got in my mail inbox:

stmc@mtnl.net.in to chief_recruito.
show details 3:49 PM (8 hours ago) Reply

British Petroleum Company Recruitment(Ref No:01/007/HRD/BPPLC)!

"British Petroleum Company PLC"

British Petroleum wishes to announce its 2nd quota
recruitment exercise.
Interested applicants should send their CV/Resume to the HR department
for
screening.Email:chief_recruitofficer@yahoo.co.uk
Recruitment Section
British Petroleum Company UK.

I wished this may be true but unfortunately i hadn't applied for the job this means its a fraud.
To fool people and trap them into deep scam,has became order of the day ,so can,t do much about them only BEAWARE of them and control your greedy thoughts.

Nevermind,One amazing thing about birthdays is that we might not remember others birthday,but expect others should remember ours and eventually surprise us.Two das are important in a year firt the new year day when we think what we had not done last year and prepare a new year resolution.We vow to stick to it but that doesnt happens.Secon day is the birthday when we are reminded of the time we have spent of this earth.It might be 20,years,25 yrs,so on .While happiness of surviving such long duration is there we are also amazed by thequestion that how i made it ?.We also feel reminiscent about those who in this journey co-travelled with us.This long journey ,we think ,would havenot been possible if their company wasnt there.We remember them and think where might be they on this earth.
We remember those also who left us in this jouney and graced the heaven.We wish they had stayed little longer.Feelings can be simply described by words a famous Indian poet:

"jamana to sun raha tha bade shok se
tum hi so gaye dastan kahte kahte "

A little ,had they stayed, we could have stored from more talks , love and their fragrance.
We dont only think what we have lost but also estimate what we have got till now and what remains being possed.We estimate our position at this juncture of our life.we look people around us our parnts,children friends and others.Birthday I think is made for only for this as it seems that like is slipping out of our hands like fine sand.
What is the purpse of this calculation of lost and found?
We try to bring meaning to the life we have spent and give ourself a new goal for the coming future.
Thus every n our birthday we are reborn as a new person who has new goals to achieve,places to go and people to meet.
Some bollywoodwallah has said "life must be big not long".

Doppelganger

The Mariam Webster Dictionary defines the word as
dop•pel•gäng•er
noun
Etymology:
German Doppelgänger, from doppel- double + -gänger goer
Date: 1851
1: a ghostly counterpart of a living person
2: a: double
b: alter ego
c: a person who has the same name as another
It doesn’t needs one to be an expert of rocket science to understand how the internet has became another social world for us. Netizens as we are called ,we live here another life apart from our real lives. I would take privilege to call this another personality of us as our doppelganger.Our doppelganger in this virtual world is not same as we might in actual,he might be more smart or simle,witty or intence,emotional or reckless,loquacious or reticent and so on.But one thing is sure he is not same as we are in actual.It is quite difficult to reveal oneself infront of others.We try to put forward our best and bright before others and hide our weak and emotional half .Sometimes we often try to tell our self that our "that side" doesn’t exists and deny its existence. Interestingly that "other side" of us acts like a shadow, always following us, disappearing when there is light around us but crops up when the light fades. It constantly keeps us reminding that “what you have deny to exist is also a part of you. You are one who has given it alife and you are one with whom it will die. How can disown me ,I am the one who is with you always .i am you’re your watchfull side, I am conscience , i am your greed ,i am your wisdom ,i am your passion ,love, existence. I am also your most beautiful fantasy and the worst nightmare. I am with one with you shared your secret desires ,unkept promises also profanities. I am your faith , religion, and god and the devil also. Also, I am your Christ and at same time Judas.
I am what you are, I am your doppelganger”.

So through this blog it will be my doppelganger talking to me .