Sunday, June 28, 2009

MJ : My Columbus

No no i am not a ardent follower of the religion called "pop" and the God "MJ".In fact much a time i am not able to decipher what he used to sing although i liked his songs "black or white" "beat it" "they do not care for us" ,"the girl is mine ".Many for their lyrics and most for their beats and dance.For last few ears his name infamously been involved in paedophile case ,i,in fact began o hate him more.After all childhood innocence is a larger concern than the entertainment that keeps us amused.But his sudden death has made to headlines of newspapers and TV channels ,and condolences and remembrances came in flowing from all sides in huge amounts.This shows that although people had lost interest in him for last few years but not forgotten him.His music ,style and songs which had captivated a whole generation for decades has not lost grip over minds and hears of its followers.
For me MJ was not like a God as his pop loving follower assign him the position,but actually he my first introduction to the West or better the America.Those days Internet was not came to Bsp and cable television had just started to spread in the city.I think i was in fifth or sixth standard ,and i was visiting my neighbour's house,that the cover of MJ's album "Dangerous" (in picture alongside)struck my attention.I asked my neighbour (who was older than me and the cassette belonged to her elder brother who was studying at an Engg. College at Nagpur) about what type of music this is.She gave me a surprising look and said you don't know Michael Jackson? I said innocently "no".She exclaimed how come everybody knows about him .He is pop star and break dancer.I kept listening hypnotised,as though everything she said was something like divine knowledge.Then as owner of a proud possession she played the cassette and started moving rhythmically showing that it is a nice song and acting as she understands ever word of it (she was educated in hindi medium since start).I too liked the beats and sudden ups and downs of music with intervening "aouu" sound(characteristically MJ).She continued proudly that this is an original cassette "very costly and not available at Bsp",Her brother has brought it from nagpur so he never lets anyone touch it .I think she guessed that i may ask for borrowing .This was first time i heard western music.Then in school i learned that one of my classmate is an excellent break dancer and was going to perform on MJs song.I watched his dance a annual function ,he was really excellent ,and that last step in which he touches the stage with his legs spread away made the audience cheer amazingly(plz dont ask what it felt when the girls cheered).
It was MJ who penetrated to small town like ours through his break dance and pop songs.He was also one who lead to formation of image of an american as "White ,long haired(ofcourse uncombed),wearing goggles ,always moving(as though born in train)" among we people.
Often this is portrayed in our Indian movies as comedy, remember Jonny Lever in "Judai".
MJ for our generation was like what pizza,burger and shopping malls for today's generation ,a symbol of America.For me he was the Columbus through whom i discovered America ,his music "soul music" a gift to East from west ,his style a trend setter and his death like cutting of the umbilical cord when child is able to breath by himself.I would be difficult to believe he is dead as he himself said " i am unbreakable " .

Saturday, June 27, 2009

growing up so fast.....


It was the occasion of wedding of one of my good friends that I suddenly realised how fast we have grown up.I knew him since my school days(to be precise since my primary schooling). We had attended school then same college.It was unbelievably amazing to think how so many days passed , say ,in a blink of eyes.
I could still recall the days at school ,at playground(as i was often invited as 12th man in most of cricket matches) and at coaching classes(i used to envy him as he used to sit near girls and often talked to them ....uf.. ). Then in college where he consistently played his good boy image and i as always the bad boy.While he as he was a good cricketer,used to concentrate on single ball (read girl),i often as 12th man do,stumbled on catching many balls (read girls) but caught none.Although his much sought ball also slipped from his hands but i think he mastered the art after graduating .Result he is a married man now.
While he was sitting on the stage with his better half ,a constant thought kept me intriguing is he the same guy?Has he matured this enough?Isn't this a child marriage? After all i felt it was just a matter of yesterday when we were enlightening our selves about girls and their idiosyncrasies at college canteen.And learning about complex binomial (boy -girl) differential equations by watching education Cd's (details cannot be explained on public forums).
The bottom line is that i never believed that the process of growing up could be so fast.That days of carelessness,gossips,flirt etc, will give way to the days of taking critical decisions having consequences over two lives.
Fast and Unpredictable.That's what life is...........

Sunday, June 21, 2009

powerful words

The Maggots (from The Descendants)

At sunset, on the river ban, Krishna
Loved her for the last time and left...

That night in her husband's arms, Radha felt
So dead that he asked, What is wrong,
Do you mind my kisses, love? And she said,
No, not at all, but thought, What is
It to the corpse if the maggots nip?


By Late Kamala Das

Saturday, June 20, 2009

just to show off !!!!


Muchhe ho to nathu lal ji jaisi warna na ho! People do what not just to show off.The need of social recognition sometimes becomes so rich that people put at stake everything just to gain social recognition.We lead our life trying to gain recognition from other man whom we even don't know.How far one can go in this matter.Suicide..no..afterall what purpose will it serve.But not all concur with the negative answer.For some people,in fact those with low self esteem,the recognition and attention they failed to achieve in their life they would get after their suicide.People who will find their bodies after suicide will talk about them ,more people will talk about them.Even press will tell their stories.Instant recognition they would get after their suicide.So there are many not fake the Gaonwallon....! scene of Sholey but actually go real and far.Few Failed love stories end in suicide because lovers think their parents and relatives who didn't noticed their intense love will be noticed after they are dead.Academic failure hurt and leads to suicide often because children think they failed to earn the pride and recognition for their parents ,who otherwise had shown their ward's brilliant results to their neighbors.In fact now their parents will have to suffer the negative recognition from others as parents of failed children.Committing suicide on one hand save him/her (the child) from the scolds of their parents and on other hands their absence will make their parents recognise that their children are more than academic records.
Wives commit suicide because their husband try to ignore them or have found (recognised) some one else as more interesting. Husband commit suicide because to be kept recognized before their wife and children eye as they(husbands) are not able to fulfill the family's wants and needs.
Leaders commit suicide because they feel now their followers will not respect them any more i.e.they would loose recognition in the eyes of their followers.
So much to get recognised in the eyes of others.Its better to be reclusive then.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

A million splendid sons and daughters


When one visits country's hinterland s/he is filled with a moral concern for education and upliftment of these half naked children who follow their cars and keep staring to us.Many of these children are in their school uniform and when asked they tell that after mid day meal ,school was closed as teachers were absent.Often the school itself is non existent as funds finished in preparing papers for them. so a tree shed serve as a place for students to assemble.Officials have never reached there although they strated in their airconditioned cars from district centres.
ympahasizing with them ,we urban socialites (who mostly are no one in the city) deliver a lot of harangue against the government and officials who ,even after 60 years of independence,haven't provided these children schools and colleges.We offer lots of drops from our benevolent knowledge about what should the government do and do not to educate these children.After our return we are again engaged in our lives thinking about our salary packages,foreign assignments and in metro lives.We satisfy our conscience by assuring it that a certain cess on our income tax is being spent on them and mid day meal is being served (with garnish of lizards and insects).
Often when we see our house maid ,driver ,sweeper a thought comes if they had been educated then to who would have taken care of these lower chores.Their illiteracy is blessing for us.Thanks to the lethargic officials ,absentee teachers and paper existent school buildings.
Why these children do not study? why their parents don't ask questions to government,public Representatives.Why absentee teachers are not made absent from this world.Why lethargic officials are fed the mid day meal (of course with usual garnishings),why paper existent school buildings are not burnt with those whose signatures are on them?And lastly why people like us ,who shed corocodile tears and talk of high moralities ,are not made compulsorily to spend a part of their life doing those menial chores that we dislike?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Life and the Chaos Theory


Often things happen that make us to belief that the Chaos thoery has some gravity.Aren't some events look as they are result of alng chain of events which started as a small trivial thing.Some little mistakes ,some small misunderstanding,a little mistrust,a small error and so on leads to those events that sometimes change our life at all.We loose trust,friends,relations anything just because a trivial thing happened and we didnt noticed it.Decisions which are very important in your life are result of some small expreience that we had but which had a great impact on us.We run on the treadmill of our life seeking new goals and pleasure and trying to frget a lot many of insignificant events so as not to lose our focus.But at some point of the time when we retrospect we are reminded that those insignificant moments of our life wer actually very significant.What we are living today had not been if those events had not taken place.Thus suddenly our present looks as The chaos created by the past.
The next moment we start hinking about how we couldnt be able to notice such a small thing.And then,in next moment we start thinking about what we could have done to change the things.
Thus the present chaos in our life looks as lsome logical conclusion of a string of events,looking as if a divine logic has driven all this .

Thursday, June 11, 2009

serendipity and oeuvres


Arts,sciences,music ..how they originated.Why some some people see and feel something distinct and drawing in things which look quite obvious to others. They end up devoting their life for learning it,pracising,even understanding it.They end up becoming maestros,artists ,scientists and similar beings.Incredible many even end their life for its sake earning no recognition at all.
Looking unobvious among obvious things ,i believe ,what is called creativity.But is creativity inborn or experience and learning makes people creative.Whether one who sees nudes in the tree becomes an painter or a painter sees nudes in the trees.(the scetch alongside is by me).A difficult to answer.It is known as the nature -nurture
debate in Psychology.
I dont know whether it happens to other but it often happens to me.I find the debut book by an upcoming writer good and tastefull but when the books he writes afterwards has something missing that i feel makes them less or fully untasteful.Is the originality or creativity in the writing style fades when one gains experience or its just opposite ,practise makes man perfect.
Why inventors or creators are mostly apples of public eyes rather than those who make those things workable.Putting it another way why scientists who develop theories and spent their life finding relations dont catch people eyes than those who creat things like dishwashers,lifts etc using those theories.
It is possible be that we get used to them so feel bored,but then there are some ,whom we never leave reading, watching listening.Beethoven,picasso,leonardo de vinci,Clint Eastwood,Agatha Christie,Jefery Archer,Paulo Coelho,Khaleed Hosseni to name a few internationally and Satyajeet Ray,Lata,R.K.Narayan,Raja Ravi Verma to name some nationally(Personal choice).
So whether serendipity/creativity is the thing that provides taste to something or long experience and knowledge is what that makes oeuvres enjoyable.Being selfish i took only the perspective of the connoisseurs (i am not even that too) not the artists themselves.Artists also may have there own view.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

History or His-Story

Citizen of a nation are like Mountaineers,they seek a peg or a support which is stable.This peg/support is necessary for a mountaineer because he doesnt knows whether the place he is going to put his next step is stable or not.A stable peg/support assures him a safe point where he can return in case the place is unstable.
Same is the case with the citizens ,it is quite difficult for citizens to move forward without a definite history behind them.This history is like a psychological peg/support to which they can return in case the future might not be condusive.
History of a nation serves more than that,it is not only the collection of facts and artifacts.People look towards their history of seek their identity ,to find purpose of the collective group,to understand what they are today and why and similar other questions.History is like an old grandmother to whom her grand children keep asking what,why,how ,when.....then...what happened then....
As an Indian i too tried to know what is our history.But the more i searched, the more i got confused.History books tell we are the descendents of the Aryans who came some where from Central Asia,but not all agree to this .Hindu Nationalists rubbish this argument are instead propese we are original inhabitants of this country.According to them this whole "Aryan invasion theory" is created to press the european dominance.
There is also various versions of our own freedom struggle. While Winston Churchill didnt considered Indian freedom struggle as really a struggle,a warfreak Churchill believed that in a bloody war can only be called a struggle.While Indian Historians have tried to explain how our struggle for independence was result of a strategy and deliberate struggle.Congress,Gandhi and others have been credited for uniting the people as a nation and inspiring them to seek freedom from the British.But the British Historian like Vincent A. Smith write that India was given freedom because The Britsh themselves believed in the ideals of freedom and self governance.British had a strategy and a time table,the congress only helped to prepone the timing.They blame the hasteness of Congress for a divided nation and the violent situation at the time of independence.While indian historian describe at length the atrocities,exploitation and agressions of various Viceroys and Governor Generals,British Historian write paean of benevolence, administratively acumen and long sightedness these gentlemen .Both sides support their argument with ample data and facts.
Not only that Indian Historians and their Pakistan counter parts too have their own version of Independence struggle.The Two Nation Theory ,the Role of Muslim League ,Partition are some areas where they differ totally and tell heir citizen their respective version.The history of Kashmir has led to two wars and still an undeclared war is going on.
It can be reasoned that every side whether indian ,british or pakistanis has molded HISTORY such that it shows themselves as true and ethical before their citizens.But what actually happened ,i think, we will never be going to know.
It seems atleast that the Indian can count upon the version told by our historians as a right version,for sake of psychological stability and national feeling ,but matter is still remains confusing.Indian historians have tried to provide a version which answers many quesions and has remained for a long time.But Indian historians belonging to communist camp like Irfan Habib have described Congress and Gandhi as spporter of Rightists,capitalists and elites.They have their own set of facts to show how indian elites' interests were secured by the Congress.They allege that Congress has used its sway over power after independence to indoctrinate people with its own version of history and obscure other facets.Another group of historians called Subaltern Group as interpreted history from iew point of subalterns(lower strata of society),they too differ from mainstream Historians.RSS and Hindu Nationalists have their own story to tell.As a citizen to whom one must belief especially when every side is euipped with its strong argument and data to support .Even if one is doctrinated to one version it is difficult in this information technology age to keep his ears closed for other versions . More informaion often contradictory is present making things more confusing.

An old wisdom says that "forget what happened just move forward in life".But while moving forward may be easy it is not quite easy to forget ones past .The past haunts ,it comes before you in a new cloak and poses the same quetion which you always tried to avoid.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

What fascinated Habib Tanveer ..?

As a student of psychology , I read a number of theories about what motivates people? How we make choices? , How we decide? and so on.Psychologist have devoted a hell lot of their mind to propose plausible solutions.But still some people and their life form exception to all these theories.The path they chose and the life they led ,appears to me ,couldn’t be explained by any of these theories.One of them is famous dramatist Habib Tanveer,who left this world yesterday.
To mourn for his death , people from various sections of society offered their condolences,gratitudes ,affection and homage and many recounted their experiences with him, but here I was blaming him for his sudden departure.Can’t he wait for a couple of years or more as its too early for him to take leave from this world.
Born as हबीब अहमद खान on 1 september 1923 at Raipur.His nom de plume Tanveer became associated with his name and he became हबीब तनवीर.No it was not a drama when i first saw him,but a film Prahaar .It was a intense film.Although i was more impressed by the acting of protagonist of the film played by Nana and Madhuri as the wife of deceased army officer but i certainly noticed Habib who played role of disgusted, disgruntled and reticent father of the deceased army officer.Habib’s serious facial expression with an air of pride ,holding a pipe in his hand, delivering a few but impressive dialogues. His dominate eyes behind heavy glasses ,his calculated moves though looking as natural as they could, all these were signs pointing out that this person is not quite like the other oldies of the bollywood, there is something especial about him.then i saw him in some other movies and serials but never gave him a serious thought.Finally at Bhopal in a news article about him i understood that he is talented theatre artist infact a highly acclaimed one.I lso found that he was from Raipur Chhatisgarh and wrote and performed many Chhattisgarhi Dramas.I was understood the finesse in his acting was result of the midnight oil burned at the theatre. Knowing this made me quite puzzled.How came the Chhatisgarh which i know produce such an acclaimed theatre artist.because even after so man years people here are still struggling to solve questions of livelihood and art dance ,drama, singing still considered jobs of low strata of society (if not in cities atleast in villages).The region has at best produced some shrewd politicians infamous nationally ,how a theatre talent be born here? How come Habib ,that too in 30s,40s ,think of writing and performing drama ?Quite a difficult question even for my generation who calculates every decision on the balance of salary packages.
My doubt was partially answered by my mom who says that though people, at that time 60s,70,came generally from lower strata of society and were put in low esteem, it was not the case always. Some persons from good families (landlords ,priests) could not keep themselves away from the attraction of these arts.Also the crowd and the applause these moving drama companies or naacha/gammat party attracted can’t be compared with todays as television was least affordable.She says village people ,herself too, used to flung to the part of village where the naacha part has arrived.She admits proudly that Dau Ramchandra ,a theatre director being of our own caste , whenever came to perform near our village ,the family was entrusted to provide residence and food to his party.She says these dramas were able to spell magic upon its spectators. A scene from chandeni gonda in which the errant bahu cases troubles to her innocent saas,used to ignite so much anger among the audiences that some would hurl their shoes on the actor playing the bahu.Plays were performed using minimal paraphernalia under petronet lights, but still attracted spectators from far villages.
Knowing this I can guess a little , though crudely, why Habib , a young boy decided to be part of something which had potential to touch heart of a number of people and spark a flare in their eyes. Though i cant say more about the actual reason,as Habib could tell more about it himself .It is reported that he as working on his autobiography "हबीब का सफरनामा" for some time , may be that could provide some greater insight.
Poor people their joys, misery, intrigues and live, always formed part of Habib’s dramas which showed that the youth was also inspire but the spirit.But interestingly Habib in his last decades came to conclusion that “Revolutions cant spark from theatre ,let theatre be theatre”.
Questions like this and many more will remain about Habib in my heart also remain unfulfilled a wish to watch him performing on stage his play चरणदास चोर,a wish I harbored for a long time.Last time I saw him in the Subhash Ghai’s movie Black and White,he looked as quite young and pleasant. His last plat was "Rajrakt" based on a Rabindranath Tagore's "Visarjan"
In words of Habib sahib
“ मैं चला मैं चला
कभी इधर कभी उधर
मेरे संग चला
जिंदगी का सफर ”
May he get ,in the other world, the elusive peace that this world couldn’t provide him.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

A video might explain

Birth day gifts

The best thing about birthdays is that you might get surprise gifts.But in this virtual world even gifts are not real.
See what i got in my mail inbox:

stmc@mtnl.net.in to chief_recruito.
show details 3:49 PM (8 hours ago) Reply

British Petroleum Company Recruitment(Ref No:01/007/HRD/BPPLC)!

"British Petroleum Company PLC"

British Petroleum wishes to announce its 2nd quota
recruitment exercise.
Interested applicants should send their CV/Resume to the HR department
for
screening.Email:chief_recruitofficer@yahoo.co.uk
Recruitment Section
British Petroleum Company UK.

I wished this may be true but unfortunately i hadn't applied for the job this means its a fraud.
To fool people and trap them into deep scam,has became order of the day ,so can,t do much about them only BEAWARE of them and control your greedy thoughts.

Nevermind,One amazing thing about birthdays is that we might not remember others birthday,but expect others should remember ours and eventually surprise us.Two das are important in a year firt the new year day when we think what we had not done last year and prepare a new year resolution.We vow to stick to it but that doesnt happens.Secon day is the birthday when we are reminded of the time we have spent of this earth.It might be 20,years,25 yrs,so on .While happiness of surviving such long duration is there we are also amazed by thequestion that how i made it ?.We also feel reminiscent about those who in this journey co-travelled with us.This long journey ,we think ,would havenot been possible if their company wasnt there.We remember them and think where might be they on this earth.
We remember those also who left us in this jouney and graced the heaven.We wish they had stayed little longer.Feelings can be simply described by words a famous Indian poet:

"jamana to sun raha tha bade shok se
tum hi so gaye dastan kahte kahte
"

A little ,had they stayed, we could have stored from more talks , love and their fragrance.
We dont only think what we have lost but also estimate what we have got till now and what remains being possed.We estimate our position at this juncture of our life.we look people around us our parnts,children friends and others.Birthday I think is made for only for this as it seems that like is slipping out of our hands like fine sand.
What is the purpse of this calculation of lost and found?
We try to bring meaning to the life we have spent and give ourself a new goal for the coming future.
Thus every n our birthday we are reborn as a new person who has new goals to achieve,places to go and people to meet.
Some bollywoodwallah has said "life must be big not long".

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Doppelganger

The Mariam Webster Dictionary defines the word as
dop•pel•gäng•er
noun
Etymology:
German Doppelgänger, from doppel- double + -gänger goer
Date: 1851
1: a ghostly counterpart of a living person
2: a: double
b: alter ego
c: a person who has the same name as another
It doesn’t needs one to be an expert of rocket science to understand how the internet has became another social world for us. Netizens as we are called ,we live here another life apart from our real lives. I would take privilege to call this another personality of us as our doppelganger.Our doppelganger in this virtual world is not same as we might in actual,he might be more smart or simle,witty or intence,emotional or reckless,loquacious or reticent and so on.But one thing is sure he is not same as we are in actual.It is quite difficult to reveal oneself infront of others.We try to put forward our best and bright before others and hide our weak and emotional half .Sometimes we often try to tell our self that our "that side" doesn’t exists and deny its existence. Interestingly that "other side" of us acts like a shadow, always following us, disappearing when there is light around us but crops up when the light fades. It constantly keeps us reminding that “what you have deny to exist is also a part of you. You are one who has given it alife and you are one with whom it will die. How can disown me ,I am the one who is with you always .i am you’re your watchfull side, I am conscience , i am your greed ,i am your wisdom ,i am your passion ,love, existence. I am also your most beautiful fantasy and the worst nightmare. I am with one with you shared your secret desires ,unkept promises also profanities. I am your faith , religion, and god and the devil also. Also, I am your Christ and at same time Judas.
I am what you are, I am your doppelganger”.

So through this blog it will be my doppelganger talking to me .